dIsaPointed

i'm happy yet sad... cum excited.. mixed feelings..
well, rere called me yesterday.. in the afternoon..
i got so damn surprised and happy to receive a call from her la!! lolx..
nvr expect her to call me and its 12 midnight at US there.. so sweet! told me her happenings.. envy her... haha.. i also wan go!!
must save up den go visit her one day..though our connections nt good..
but hope will have more phone sessions.. wanna tell her my life.. our life here..
so tt she'll always be updated..
i jus wanna treasure some1 who really treats me as her friend..
haiz.. i'm confused now...
i suddenly dunno wad to blog.. cos its suppose to be a nice entry..
but if i continue to blog, it might turn out to be a nasty entry..
i have an urge to let my tears in my eyes to fall down on my pale cheeks..
aiya...
i'm strong!! *holding back*

i tried my best.. but wadever outcomes it become,
i have nth more to say..
maybe i dun give others a gd impression..
:((
did i ask for too much?
i've become more and more nasty?
i hate myself? for being a hypocrite? yes
crocodile tears?
dynamic change..
globe is round...


wont be blogging too often.. or rather, would stop blogging for the time being..
wait till happiness come and knock on my front door again or when i've regained my confidence...
giving myself a probation period...
shut off for everything~~

sick and tired..
wanna be irresponsible for a while... or maybe, i have always been irresponsible?

so, i will end here le... good bye my dear regular customers!! will miss ur lots... ;)



urge to cry..
yet can't squeeze out..
heart is crying though,
but at least we r closed once..
tt will always be on my mind..
words can't describe.. or rather,
i dunno how to put in words..
its all my wishful thinking..